Hostel (3.5/5 Stars)
If you like scary movies, then you'll probably like this one. There is plenty of fake blood, screaming and of course lots of boobies. I don't know why, but the latter is always a pre-requisite for scary movies. Think about it, when was the last scary movie you saw without some d-list actress taking her top off. (Well actually to be fair, SAW was the last one, I don't think had any boobs in it, but ANYWAYS...)
The story is actually fascinating... There is a pair of naive and helpless Americans backpacking across Europe. Apparently these two guys want to have sex with pretty European women and this one gentleman conviently recommends they travel to a remote Croatian town... The two guys check into their Hostel (which I guess is the European word for "hotel") room only two learn they will be sharing it with two other gorgeous, tanned and topless females... Queue pair 14 of 68 sets of breasts. The two girls seem to take to the American gents quite well and invite them out to the "disco" ... They still call it a disco.... The girls wiggle and wobble their gigantic racks in front of the Americans and slip them some sort of little white round pill. Now, I know that when I travel abroad, I always let conviently beautiful women place unknown substances into my mouth. Anyways, the Americans eventually get laid... and fade off into a drug induced sleep... can you just imagine the cheesy blurred camera effect? They wake up to find themselves in a strange dungeon like room, hand-cuffed to a chair... All sorts of medical instruments and torture devices line the walls. I wont give away any more of the movie.. But where I leave is actually where the movie starts to get interesting. Ok, so the way that it happens in the movie has lots of scary music playing in the background... And of course the whole story is based on true events, thus making the whole deal all the more scary! Gee mom, this can't really happen to me can it? So, should you see it? If you have two hours and four bucks to waste, like apparently I do, then go for it... (rent, this is not one for the living room DVD shelf) Don't expect to be completely terrified, but mildly freaked out. Also, if you are the least bit squeamish.. Like my dad is.. Then don't see it.. There are GRAPHIC scenes of bloody human torture. Then again, some of us like that kind of thing...
Date Movie (1/5)
I actually watched this movie first in my line up Thursday night of excitement. I had high hopes for this flick. I like Allison Flannigan and I enjoy the other "Scary Movie" movies, so I thought what they heck, I should get a good chuckle or two out it. On the cover, they let you know that it was written by two of the six writers of Scary Movie. Let me just say those other four writers were sorely missed. I tend to like campy, turn your brain off comedies, but this one was bad. The two remaining writers made a valiant effort, spoofing everything movies like Hitch, Meet the bookers, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, the Wedding Planner and every romantic comedy in between. It amazing that I've the originals of most of these. Two times I laughed out loud in this movie were a scene involving a cat and a toilet and another scene with a GIGANTIC zit. Other than that, it wasn't as great as all those commercials made me think it would be. Also, if its one of the movies that is "guaranteed In Stock" at Blockbuster, you know it isn't going to be any good. Its always the movies that they only have two copies of that are any good. So, should you see it? My answer is no.
Next up... "The Family Stone" and the playstation games "Mission Impossible" and "The Simpsons: Hit & Run"